The second most famous post written by The Toxicologist Today concerned the issues of joining a PhD and discussed, by offering different perspectives and points of view, what implications such professional decision could have in someone's life. Recently, I have been trying to introduce my audience to the brand new project in my life, a PhD in Molecular Microbiology I was offered in the Centre for Biomedical Sciences in the Faculty of Biomedicine of the University of Nottingham. I thought of telling you about my new crew, I thought of opining about how great I think the project is, how extremely hard the interview was, how different I feel every time I look back to what I've been as an individual (personally and professionally) and how I am now, thought of writing about the many things I still have to learn to succeed in this path and how I intend to just evade myself from comparisons and be myself, regardless of the crazy ways and competitions fed to us by the many unnatural processes undergoing in our society.
I thought of all that but for the time being I will just not. However, I decided to just sit down in front of the keyboard and start hitting the many keys that my synapses order my fingers to process, not only physically but rather emotionally. It is not acceptable to do things in life if your heart does not beat to the sound of your uttermost creeds and opinions. People usually see scientists or researchers as science heads with no other purpose than showing off their immense knowledge and need for condensing triviality with immediate judgements based on irrefutable paradigms. But behind those goggles used by PhD Students, the meetings conducted by Academic Staff, underneath the cape of a Post-Doc Individual there's a person just like you, just like anyone else. Sometimes we wake up to face the blur, sometimes we wake up to spread a smile, sometimes we see our best intentions misunderstood, other times our negativity takes over the positivity and then again we come back in flames with fresh ideas and solid perceptions.
I don't know how everything is going to progress in my life as a PhD Student, by my intentions are to just give the best of myself and make it succeed with all I've got. I just met my project, I just been introduced to my colleagues, I just had the first frustrations and the first successes, nonetheless, I have just started and this primary integration is a means of testing your crew, boundaries, connections, communications, understanding and how far you can go with being yourself in a melting pot of different cultures. That is done and tested now, a month occurred after joining this incredible project. Surprisingly, or maybe not that much, I am not the person I was a month ago. The mutation is not due to a de-characterisation of the self, but the need to adapt and adjust to an ever complicated pool of different aims, objectives, personalities and ideas.
I just started a path that will take, hopefully, four years of my life. When the first white hairs insist to populate my head, when on a daily basis you deal with people who are much younger and much older than you are, when the things that made you cry in the past force you to laugh in the present, when groups are made and you need to fit in, when questions are raised and you must find the ways to respond to the scientific endeavours. If you are in this very same situation, you've just joined a project where people need you to deliver, if an explanation is needed for anything and you feel slightly embarrassed for not having the reason yet... don't let yourself go down.... just breath in, open your eyes, raise your head up, detox your thoughts and respond face to face,
I don't know exactly why yet, but I'll find out just now